Parrot Elephant

Q: What to you get if you cross a parrot with an elephant?
A: An animal that tells you everything that it remembers!

A Milk Bath

When the milkman found a note on one of his customer's doors asking for 16 gallons instead of the usual quart, he rang the bell. "Sorry to bother you, ma'am," he said, "but are you sure you want sixteen gallons of milk today?"
"Oh, yes," said the lady of the house. "I'm going to take a milk bath."
"Do you want it pasteurized?"
"No, just up to my tits would be fine."

What Floor Please?

A woman walks into the local pharmacy and asks to find sanitary napkins.The pharmacist replies, "We have mini-pads and maxi-pads, which do you prefer? "The woman asks, "What's the difference?" The pharmacist replies, "It depends on what your flow is like!" Woman replies, "My flo? My flo is linoleum!"