RIP Mom

My girlfriend throws up whenever she thinks about her dead mother.
I reckon it's mourning sickness

Hick Puzzle

Two hicks brought home a puzzle one day, and sat down to solve it. A week later, they finished the puzzle. "Well, that didn't take so durn long," said one of them. "Naw, it didn't. 'Specially considering it says 3-5 years on the box."

On Time

My grandad lost a lung during the war.
That's why he was fired from his medical courier job.