Top Twenty Oxymorons

20. Found missing
19. Resident alien
18. Airline food
17. Same difference
16. Government organization
15. Sanitary landfill
14. Alone together
13. Business ethics
12. Sweet sorrow
11. Military intelligence
10. Plastic glasses
9. Terribly pleased
8. Definite Maybe
7. Pretty Ugly
6. Computer Security
5. Political science
4. Diet ice cream
3. Working vacation
2. Exact estimate
1. Microsoft Works

How Well Does Coldwater Clean?

A man went to visit his 90 year old grandfather in a secluded, rural area of the USA. After spending the night, his grandfather prepared breakfast for him consisting of eggs and bacon. He noticed a film-like substance on his plate and he questioned his grandfather... "are these plates clean?" His grandfather replied... "those plates are as clean as cold water can get them so go on and finish your meal." That afternoon, while eating the hamburgers his grandfather made for lunch, he noticed tiny specks around the edge of this plate, and a substance that looked like dried egg yolks... so he asked again... "are you sure these plates are clean?" Without looking up from his hamburger, the grandfather says... "I told you before, those dishes are as clean as cold water can get them, now don't ask me about it anymore I'm getting tired of all this questioning!" Later that afternoon, he decided to go into a nearby town to get some descent food to eat. As he was leaving, his Grandfather's dog lay across the doorway to the outside and it started to growl and would not let him pass... "Grandfather, your dog won't let me out. Without diverting his attention from the football game he was watching on TV, Grandfather shouted, "COLDWATER, GET OUT OF THE WAY." 

Bill Clinton Trivia

Q: Why did President Clinton name his dog Buddy instead of Spot?
A: Because he didn't want people running around the White House saying, ''come Spot, come Spot!''