Nicotine Patch

A guy decides to quit smoking. He decides to use the nicotine patch, but thinks it looks ridiculous. Later in the week, he stands at a urinal beside his co-worker. The co-worker looks down and notices the man has a nicotine patch on his penis. Horrified, the co-worker says, "That's disgusting! Why in the world would you put a patch on your d**k?" The man replies, "Don't knock it -- I'm down to two butts a day."

Catch A Squirrel

Q: How do you catch a squirrel?
A: Climb up a tree and act like a nut!

Bee Back

Q: How did the bee hurt his back?
A: He fell off his honey.