Some Business One-Liners

• Some of it plus the rest of it is all of it.
• Some see things as they are and ask 'why?'; I dream of things that never were and ask 'why not?'" - George Bernard Shaw
• Someone who thinks logically is a nice contrast to the real world.
• Sometimes I think we are alone in the universe. Sometimes I think we are not. In either case, the thought is quite staggering.
• Sometimes too much drink is not enough.
• Sometimes you're the bird, and sometimes you're the windshield.
• Speak softly and own a big, mean doberman.
• Stay in with the outs.
• Success always occurs in private, and failure in full public view.
• Success can be insured only by devising a defense against failure of the contingency plan. 

Car In A Ditch

A man is driving down the road and notices a car in the ditch. He doesn't usually help many people so he drives on by. Then he notices that a pretty woman is the driver so he goes back to help. As he is hooking his truck to her car he says, "You know, you are the first pregnant woman I've ever helped out of a ditch". "But I'm not pregnant," she says. "Well you're not out of the ditch yet," he says.

Forgetful Chicken

Q: Why did the forgetful chicken cross the road?
A: To get to the other side -- er, no -- to go shopping -- no, not that either -- damn it.