History of Lawyers

Why God Created Lawyers.  Satan was complaining bitterly to God, "You made the world so that it was not fair, and you made it so that most people would have to struggle every day, fight against their innate wishes and desires, and deal with all sorts of losses, grief, disasters, and catastrophes. Yet people worship and adore you. People fight, get arrested, and cheat each other, and I get blamed, even when it is not my fault. Sure, I'm evil, but give me a break. Can't you do something to make them stop blaming me?" And so God created lawyers.

New Jersey and California

Q: Why does New Jersey have all the toxic waste dumps and California have all the lawyers?
A: Because New Jersey got first pick.

We Have So Many

A Russian, a Cuban, an American and a lawyer are in a train. The Russian takes a bottle of the Best Vodka out of his pack, pours some into a glass, drinks it, and says: "In USSR, we have the best vodka of the world, nowhere in the world you can find Vodka as good as the one we produce in Ukraine. And we have so much of it, that we can just throw it away." Saying that, he opens the window and throws the rest of the bottle through it.  All the others are quite impressed. The Cuban takes out a pack of Havanas, takes one of them, lights it and begins to smoke it saying: "In Cuba, we have the best cigars of the world: Havanas. Nowhere in the world there is so many and so good cigar and we have so much of them, that we can just throw them away." Saying that, he throws the pack of Havanas thru the window. Again, everybody is quite impressed. At this time, the American just stands up, opens the window, and throws the lawyer through it..