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Word Play Jokes - Lawyer Jokes

You've Changed My Mind
Lawyer: "Now that you have been acquitted, will you tell me truly? Did you steal the car?"
Client: "After hearing your amazing argument in court this morning, I'm beginning to think I didn't."
Categories:
Profession Jokes
(Lawyer Jokes)
- 0
- 2
- 0
Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous
You're a lawyer if
- You are charging someone for reading these jokes.
- The shortest sentence you have ever written was more than eighty words long.
- You have a daughter named Sue and a son named Bill.
- Your other car is a BMW.
- When you look in a mirror, you see a lawyer.
- When your wife says "I love you," you cross-examine her.
Categories:
Profession Jokes
(Lawyer Jokes)
- 0
- 3
- 1
Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous
Lawyer Hunting Regulations
NEW REGULATIONS FOR THE HUNTING OF LAWYERS: Government Department of Fish and "WildLife" Sec. 1200
- Any person with a valid hunting license may harvest attorneys.
- Taking of attorneys with traps or deadfalls is permitted. The use of currency as bait is prohibited.
- Killing of attorneys with a vehicle is prohibited. If accidentally struck, remove dead attorney to roadside and proceed to nearest car wash.
- It is unlawful to chase, herd, or harvest attorneys from a snow machine, helicopter, or aircraft.
- It shall be unlawful to shout "whiplash", "ambulance", or "free Perrier" for the purpose of trapping attorneys.
- It shall be unlawful to hunt attorneys within 100 yards of BMW dealerships.
- It shall be unlawful to hunt attorneys within 200 yards of courtrooms, law libraries, whorehouses, health spas, gay bars, ambulances, or hospitals.
- If an attorney is elected to government office, it shall be a felony to hunt, "entrap", or possess it.
- Stuffed or mounted attorneys must have a state health department inspection for rabies, and vermin.
- It shall be illegal for a hunter to disguise himself as a reporter, drugdealer, pimp, female legal clerk, sheep, accident victim, bookie, or tax accountant for the purpose of hunting attorneys.
-
BAG LIMITS (Maximum number of catches allowed per hunting season)
- Yellow Bellied Sidewinder...........(2)
- Two-faced Tort Feasor...............(1)
- Back-stabbing Divorce Litigator.....(4)
- Small-breasted Ball Buster..........(3) (Female only)
- Big-mouthed Pub Gut.................(2)
- Honest Attorney.....................(0) (On the Endangered Species List) (Illegal to hunt)
- Cut-throat..........................(2)
- Back-stabbing Whiner................(2)
- Brown-nosed Judge Kisser............(2)
- Silver-tongued Drug Dealer Defender.......($100 BOUNTY)
Categories:
Profession Jokes
(Lawyer Jokes)
, Sports Jokes
(Hunting Jokes)
, Dark Humor Jokes
(Death Jokes)
- 1
- 2
- 0
Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous