Catfish vs. Lawyer

Q: What's the difference between a catfish and a lawyer?
A: Ones a gross dirty slimy scum-sucking bottom-feeder, and ones a fish...

You've Changed My Mind

Lawyer: "Now that you have been acquitted, will you tell me truly? Did you steal the car?"
Client: "After hearing your amazing argument in court this morning, I'm beginning to think I didn't."

You're a lawyer if

• You are charging someone for reading these jokes.
• The shortest sentence you have ever written was more than eighty words long.
• You have a daughter named Sue and a son named Bill.
• Your other car is a BMW.
• When you look in a mirror, you see a lawyer.
• When your wife says "I love you," you cross-examine her.