Green Grape To Purple Grape

Q: What did a green grape say to a purple grape?
A: Breathe stupid!

Choo Choo

Roy Rogers gets a brand new pair of cowboy boots. He leaves them out on the porch of his ranch house and, in the morning, discovers they’ve been gnawed by a mountain lion. Roy grabs a rifle and his horse and goes out to kill the varmint. Three hours later Roy’s back with a dead mountain lion tied across his saddle. A ranch-hand goes up to him and says, “Pardon me , Roy. Is that the cat that chewed your new shoes?”

French Maid Techie

A French maid was tidying up for a wealthy computer whiz. She commented that he had a nice PC. He looked frustrated and said, "Yeah, it's top of the line, but I can't seem to get any programs to start up. You wouldn't happen to know how these gizmos work, do you?" She replied, "I'm sorry monsieur, I would love to help you, but oh la la, I don't do Windows!"