Elevator V Mexican

Q: What is the difference between a Mexican and an Elevator?
A: The elevator can raise a child.

Found Dead

Q: Did you hear about the guy they found dead with his head in his cornflakes?
A: The police thought it was a cereal killer.

Five Minutes To Midnight

A cop drives up to lovers lane and sees a car there. So he walks up to the car, and there's a girl in the back seat knitting and a boy in the front seat reading a book. The cop asks the boy how old he is and what he's doing. The boy answers, "I'm reading a book and I'm 20." Then the cop asks what the girl's doing and how old she is. The boy replies, "She's knitting and she'll be 18 in about five minutes."