Mississippi Jokes

Mississippi: Come And Feel Better About Your Own State
Dumb Mississippi Laws:

• Cattle rustling is punishable by hanging.
• Horses are not to be housed within 50 feet of any road.
• Vagrancy is punishable by either 30 days in prison or a $201 fine. -Sec. 97-35-37
• Columbus - The fine for waving a gun in public is higher than actually shooting it.
• Oxford - It is illegal to drive around the town square more than 100 times in a single session.
• One may not spit on the sidewalks on the square.
• Motor vehicles on the square are prohibited.
• Horn honking is not permitted as it might scare horses.
• Tylertown - It is unlawful to shave in the center of main street. 

50 States' Sayings

Alabama: At Least We're Not Mississippi
Alaska: 11,623 Eskimos Can't be Wrong!
Arizona: But It's a Dry Heat
Arkansas: Litterasy Ain't Everthing
California: As Seen on TV
Colorado: If You Don't Ski, Don't Bother
Connecticut: Like Massachusetts, Only Dirtier and With Less Character
Delaware: We Really Do Like the Chemicals in Our Water
Florida: Ask Us About Our Grandkids
Georgia: Without Atlanta We're Alabama
Hawaii: Haka Tiki Mou Sha'ami Leeki Toru
(Death to Mainland Scum, But Leave Your Money)
Idaho: More Than Just Potatoes... OK, Maybe Not, But The Potatoes Are Real Good
Illinois: Please Don't Pronounce the "S"
Indiana: 2 Billion Years Tidal Wave Free
Iowa: We Do Amazing Things With Corn
Kansas: First Of The Rectangle States
Kentucky: 5 Million People; Seven Last Names
Louisiana: We're Not All Drunk Cajuns
Maine: We're Really Cold, But We Have Cheap Lobster
Maryland: A Thinking Man's Delaware
Massachusetts: Our Taxes Are Lower Than Sweden's
Michigan: First Line of Defense From the Canadians
Minnesota: 10,000 Lakes and 10,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 Mosquitoes
Mississippi: Come Feel Better About Your Own State
Missouri: Your Federal Flood Relief Tax Dollars at Work
Montana: Land of the Big Sky, the Unabomber, Right-Wing Crazies and Very Little Else
Nebraska: Ask About Our State Motto Contest
Nevada: Whores and Poker!
New Hampshire: Go Away and Leave Us Alone
New Jersey: You Want a F**kin' Motto? I Got Yer F**kin' Motto Right Here!
New Mexico: Lizards Make Excellent Pets
New York: You Have the Right to Remain Silent, You Have the Right to an Attorney...
North Carolina: Tobacco is a Vegetable
North Dakota: We Really are One of the 50 States!
Ohio: We Wish We Were In Michigan
Oklahoma: Like the Play, Only No Singing
Oregon: Spotted Owl -- It's What's For Dinner
Pennsylvania: Cook With Coal
Rhode Island: We're Not Really An Island
South Carolina: We Have Never Actually Surrendered to the North
South Dakota: Closer Than North Dakota
Tennessee: The Educashun State
Texas: A Whole 'Nother Country!
Utah: Our Jesus Is Better Than Your Jesus
Vermont: Yep
Virginia: Who Says Government Stiffs and Slackjaw Yokels Don't Mix?
Washington: Help! We're Overrun By Nerds and Slackers!
Washington, D.C.: Wanna Be Mayor?
West Virginia: One Big Happy Family -- Really!
Wisconsin: Come Cut Our Cheese
Wyoming: Wynot?

Shingle Material

Q: How many Kentucky basketball fans does it take to roof a house?
A: Three, if you slice them really thin.