New Yorkers at the Pearly Gates

Saint Peter was manning the Pearly Gates when forty people from New York City showed up. Never having seen anyone from the Big Apple at heaven's door, Saint Peter said he would have to check with God. After hearing the news, God instructed him to admit the ten most virtuous people from the group. A few minutes later, Saint Peter returned to God breathless and said, "They're gone!" "What? All of the New Yorkers are gone?" asked God. "No!" replied Saint Peter. "The Pearly Gates!"

Kentucky

Kentucky:  Five Million People, Fifteen Last Names.

Full Fledged Alaskan

There's this guy and he lives in the second largest state in America, which is California, and he want's to live in the largest state of America which is Alaska. So he goes there for a few weeks and decides he wants to become a full-fledged Alaskan, so he goes in this pub to ask a bar man what he has to do to become a full fledged Alaskan. The bar man say's "First you drink this liter of whisky, then you've got to kill a bear, and find a woman and rape her." The guy gets confused, so he asked the bar man to repeat it. He comes back a week later beaten to shit. "What happened to you?" said the bar man. "I'm nearly a full fledged alaskan, all I gotta do now is kill a woman"!