Just In Time

A long time resident of San Francisco is packing all his stuff into boxes. His roommate comes in & asks what he's doing. "I'm leaving !" he replies. "Governor Newsom just signed a new LGBT rights bill." "So why leave now ?" queries his roomie. "Gays have been part of the scene here for years and years." "Yeah, I know." he replied. "I'm getting the hell out of here before the damn fools make it compulsory."

Indiana Crazy Laws

• One man may not back into a parking spot because it prevents police officers from seeing the license plate.
• Baths may not be taken between the months of October and March.
• All males 18 to 50 years old must work six days a year on public roads.
• Mustaches are illegal if the bearer has a tendency to habitually kiss other humans.
• Hotel sheets must be exactly 99 inches long and 81 inches wide.
• State government officials who engage in private duels can be dismissed from their post.
• Drinking from your own bottle in a bar can lead to your arrest.
• A man over the age of 18 may be arrested for statutory rape if the passenger in his car is not wearing her socks and shoes, and is under the age of 17.
• It is illegal to sell cars on Sunday. Drinks on the house are illegal.
• It is illegal for a liquor store to sell cold soft drinks.
• A person who dyes, stains, or otherwise alters the natural coloring of a bird or rabbit commits a Class B misdemeanor. (Ind. Code 15-2.1-21-13(b)
• Smoking in the state legislature building is banned, except when the legislature is in session.
• Liquor stores may not sell milk.
• Check forgery can be punished with public flogging up to 100 stripes.
• Grocery stores may not sell any type of cold liquor.
• You can get out of paying for a dependent's medical care by praying for him/her.
• Pedestrians crossing the highway at night are prohibited from wearing tail lights.
• No one may catch a fish with his bare hands.
• Men are prohibited from standing in a bar.
• You are not allowed to carry a cocktail from the bar to a table. The waiter or waitress has to do it.
• "Spiteful Gossip" and "talking behind a person's back" are illegal.
• You are required to pour your drink into a glass.
• It is against the law to pass a horse on the street.
• If any person has a puppet show, wire dancing or tumbling act in the state of Indiana and receives money for it, they will be fined $3 under the Act to Prevent Immoral Practices.
• Anyone 14 or older who profanely curses, damns or swears by the name of God, Jesus Christ or the Holy Ghost, shall be fined one to three dollars for each offense, with a maximum fine of ten dollars per day.
• A three dollar fine per pack will be imposed on anyone playing cards in Indiana under the Act for the Prevention of Gaming.
• The value of Pi is 4, and not 3.1415.
• (Repealed) Auburn - It is illegal to bike, roller-skate, skateboard, or inline skate in a commercially zoned area. For these offenses, there is a fine of no more than $5 or the impounding of one's bicycle for a period not to exceed 30 days.
• Beech Grove - It is forbidden to eat watermelon in the park.
• Elkhart - It is illegal for barbers to threaten to cut off kid's ears.
• Evansville - While driving on Main Street you may not have your lights on.
• Fort Wayne - You may not sell or play on a radio broadcast, the record "It`s In the Book".
• Gary - Within four hours of eating garlic, a person may not enter a movie house, theater, or ride a public streetcar.
• South Bend - It is illegal to make a monkey smoke a cigarette.
• Terre Haute - No one may spit on the sidewalk. 

Oklahoma Crazy Law

• It is illegal to have the hind legs of farm animals in your boots.
• Dogs must have a permit signed by the mayor in order to congregate in groups of three or more on private property.
• It is illegal to wear your boots to bed.
• Fish may not be contained in fishbowls while on a public bus.
• Tissues are not to be found in the back of one's car.
• Oklahoma will not tolerate anyone taking a bite out of another's hamburger.
• No one may spit on a sidewalk.
• Females are forbidden from doing their own hair without being licensed by the state.
• Cars must be tethered outside of public buildings. (Repealed)
• Anyone arrested for soliciting a hooker must have their name and picture shown on television.
• It is against the law to read a comic book while operating a motor vehicle.
• Whaling is illegal.
• Violators can be fined, arrested or jailed for making ugly faces at a dog.
• Tattoos are banned.
• Residents are taxed for the furniture in their homes, and any other personal belongings. (Repealed 1998)
• People who make "ugly faces" at dogs may be fined and/or jailed.
• Ada If you wear New York Jets clothing, you may be put in jail.
• Clinton Molesting an automobile is illegal.
• It is unlawful to put any hypnotized person in a display window.
• Oklahoma City - No one may walk backwards downtown while eating a hamburger.
• Schulter - Women may not gamble in the nude, in lingerie, or while wearing a towel.
• Tulsa - You may not open a soda bottle without the supervision of a licensed engineer.
• Elephants are not to be taken into the downtown area.
• Wynona - One's mode of transportation must be tied up while not attended.
• Mules may not drink out of bird baths.
• Clothes may not be washed in bird baths.
• Yukon - It is illegal to tie a horse in front of city hall.
• While passing another vehicle, you must honk your horn.