True Stupid Stories

Really Stupid People

1. Police in Wichita, Kansas, arrested a 22-year-old man at an airport hotel after he tried to pass two (counterfeit) $16 bills.
2. A man in Johannesberg, South Africa, shot his 49-year-old friend in the face, seriously wounding him, while the two practiced shooting beer cans off each other's head.
3. A company trying to continue its five-year perfect safety record showed its workers a film aimed at encouraging the use of safety goggles on the job. According to Industrial Machinery News, the film's depiction of gory industrial accidents was so graphic that twenty-five workers suffered minor injuries in their rush to leave the screening room. Thirteen others fainted, and one man required seven stitches after he cut his head falling off a chair while watching the film.
4. The Chico, California, City Council enacted a ban on nuclear weapons, setting a $500 fine for anyone detonating one within city limits.
5. A bus carrying five passengers was hit by a car in St. Louis, but by the time police arrived on the scene, fourteen pedestrians had boarded the bus and had begun to complain of whiplash injuries and back pain.
6. Swedish business consultant Ulf af Trolle labored 13 years on a book about Swedish economic solutions. He took the 250-page manuscript to be copied, only to have it reduced to 50,000 strips of paper in seconds when a worker confused the copier with the shredder.
7. A convict broke out of jail in Washington D.C., then a few days later accompanied his girlfriend to her trial for robbery. At lunch, he went out for a sandwich. She needed to see him, and thus had him paged. Police officers recognized his name and arrested him as he returned to the courthouse in a car he had stolen over the lunch hour.
8. Police in Radnor, Pennsylvania, interrogated a suspect by placing a metal colander on his head and connecting it with wires to a photocopy machine. The message "He's lying" was placed in the copier, and police pressed the copy button each time they thought the suspect wasn't telling the truth. Believing the "lie detector" was working, the suspect confessed.
9. When two service station attendants in Ionia, Michigan, refused to hand over the cash to an intoxicated robber, the man threatened to call the police. They still refused, so the robber called the police and was arrested.
10. A Los Angeles man who later said he was "tired of walking," stole a steamroller and led police on a 5 mph chase until an officer stepped aboard and brought the vehicle to a stop.

Bakersfield, California

I live in Bakersfield, California. At least it's not Barstow, a city that owes its existence to the fact that people traveling to Las Vegas needed a place to stop and take a sh*t. There was a toilet and they built a city around it.

Strange United States Laws

From the book "Loony Laws" by Robert Pelton.
Ottumwa, Iowa: "It is unlawful for any male person, within the corporate limits of the (city), to wink at any female person with whom he is unaquainted."
Los Angeles: you cannot bathe two babies in the same tub at the same time.
Zion, Ill.: it is illegal for anyone to give lighted cigars to dogs, cats, and other domesticated animals kept as pets.
Carmel, N.Y., a man can't go outside while wearing a jacket and pants that do not match.
Clawson, Mich., there is a law that makes it LEGAL for a farmer to sleep with his pigs, cows, horses, goats, and chickens.
Gary, Ind., persons are prohibited from attending a movie house or other theater and from riding a public streetcar within four hours of eating garlic.
Miami, it's illegal for men to be seen publicly in any kind of strapless gown.
St. Louis, MO: it's illegal to sit on the curb of any city street and drink beer from a bucket.
Detroit, MI: couples are banned from making love in an automobile unless the act takes place while the vehicle is parked on the couple's own property.
Hartford, Conn., you aren't allowed to cross a street while walking on your hands.
Michigan: a woman isn't allowed to cut her own hair without her husband's permission.
Baltimore, MD: it's illegal to throw bales of hay from a second-story window within the city limits. It's also illegal to take a lion to the movies.
Oxford, Ohio: it's illegal for a woman to strip off her clothing while standing in front of a man's picture. 
Nicholas County, W. Va., no member of the clergy is allowed to tell jokes or humorous stories from the pulpit during a church service. 
California: animals are banned from mating publicly within 1,500 feet of a tavern, school, or place of worship.
Pennsylvania: "any motorist driving along a country road at night must stop every mile and send up a rocket signal, wait 10 minutes for the road to be cleared of livestock, and continue."
Carrizozo, N.M., it's forbidden for a female to appear unshaven in public (includes legs and face).
Los Angeles: a man is legally entitled to beat his wife with a leather belt or strap, but the belt can't be wider than 2 inches, unless he has his wife's consent to beat her with a wider strap.
Kentucky: "No female shall appear in a bathing suit on any highway within this state unless she be escorted by at least two officers or unless she be armed with a club"
An amendment to the above legislation: "The provisions of this statute shall not apply to females weighing less than 90 pounds nor exceeding 200 pounds, nor shall it apply to female horses."