Blonde Calling Tech Support

One day a blonde was having trouble with her computer, so she calls tech support. "Hello how can I help you?" the tech support woman says. "Yes, I am having trouble getting my computer to do anything," the blonde says. "What window do you have open?" asks the tech. "Are you crazy? It's freezing cold outside!"

If Apple ran Christmas

If Apple ran Christmas, It would do everything the Microsoft ornaments do, but years earlier, and with a smaller mouse (not stirring of course).

Technology Support

After experiencing difficulties with his computer, a poor, incognizant user called the system maker's technical support line for assistance...
Technician: Hello. How can I help you today?
Customer: There's smoke coming from the power supply on my computer.
Technician: Looks like you need a new power supply.
Customer: No, I don't! I just need to change the startup files.
Technician: Sir, what you described is a faulty power supply. You need to replace it.
Customer: No way! Someone told me that I just had to change the system startup files to fix the problem! All I need is for you to tell me the right command.
For the next ten minutes, in spite of the technician's efforts to explain the problem and its solution, the customer adamantly insisted that he was right. So, in frustration, the technician responded.
Technician: I'm sorry. We don't normally tell our customers this, but there's an undocumented DOS command that will fix the problem.
Customer: I knew it!
Technician: Just add the line 'LOAD NOSMOKE.EXE' at the end of the CONFIG.SYS file and everything should work fine. Let me know how it goes.
About ten minutes later, the technician received a call back from the customer.
Customer: It didn't work. The power supply is still smoking.
Technician: Well, what version of DOS are you using?
Customer: MS-DOS 6.22.
Technician: Well, that's your problem. That version of DOS doesn't include NOSMOKE. You'll need to contact Microsoft and ask them for a patch. Let me know how it all works out.
When nearly an hour had passed, the phone rang again.
Customer: I need a new power supply.
Technician: How did you come to that conclusion?
Customer: Well, I called Microsoft and told the technician what you said, and he started asking me questions about the make of the power supply.
Technician: What did he tell you?
Customer: He said my power supply isn't compatible with NOSMOKE.