Technology Support

After experiencing difficulties with his computer, a poor, incognizant user called the system maker's technical support line for assistance...
Technician: Hello. How can I help you today?
Customer: There's smoke coming from the power supply on my computer.
Technician: Looks like you need a new power supply.
Customer: No, I don't! I just need to change the startup files.
Technician: Sir, what you described is a faulty power supply. You need to replace it.
Customer: No way! Someone told me that I just had to change the system startup files to fix the problem! All I need is for you to tell me the right command.
For the next ten minutes, in spite of the technician's efforts to explain the problem and its solution, the customer adamantly insisted that he was right. So, in frustration, the technician responded.
Technician: I'm sorry. We don't normally tell our customers this, but there's an undocumented DOS command that will fix the problem.
Customer: I knew it!
Technician: Just add the line 'LOAD NOSMOKE.EXE' at the end of the CONFIG.SYS file and everything should work fine. Let me know how it goes.
About ten minutes later, the technician received a call back from the customer.
Customer: It didn't work. The power supply is still smoking.
Technician: Well, what version of DOS are you using?
Customer: MS-DOS 6.22.
Technician: Well, that's your problem. That version of DOS doesn't include NOSMOKE. You'll need to contact Microsoft and ask them for a patch. Let me know how it all works out.
When nearly an hour had passed, the phone rang again.
Customer: I need a new power supply.
Technician: How did you come to that conclusion?
Customer: Well, I called Microsoft and told the technician what you said, and he started asking me questions about the make of the power supply.
Technician: What did he tell you?
Customer: He said my power supply isn't compatible with NOSMOKE.

Love Computers

I like my women how I like my computer.
On my lap. Turned on. Virus free.

AOL Addiction Poem

My computer broke down. It crashed and burned! And for my AOL, I really yearned! I tried to stay busy... And keep it off my mind. It was worse than cigarettes, at least butts I can find!! So I went to Wal-Mart, and got on their pc. The cashier in electronics was staring at me. But I didn't care. I had to get on line! Check my mail, and see what buddies I can find. I drew a crowd as I began to cry. I couldn't find the password no matter how hard I tried! I need my AOL!! I got to have my fix!! Go to my favorite places, check out some cool pics. The cashier called Security! I heard her whisper low, "We have ourselves a Psycho here and she has got to go!" Security rushed over. Not long did he stall. Obviously he has never suffered from AOL withdrawal. He slapped cuffs on my wrists and threw me out the door! Then he looked at me and said, "Don't come round here no more!" I feel so embarrassed!! I have sunk so low! To be kicked out of Wal-Mart.... How low can I go? So I'll try really hard now to rid myself of this affliction. Get rid of these bad habits and my AOL addiction!