Cray Toaster

If Cray made toasters...
They would cost $16 million but would be faster than any other single-slice toaster in the world, at least for a couple of years.

Klingons to Change Light Bulb

Q: How many Klingons does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Two, one to screw in the bulb and another to shoot him and take the credit.

Tech Support

Computer novices may feel like they're alone these days, but some of the following calls to a help desk show there are plenty of people out there who still are inching onto the information superhighway.

After a caller gave a technician her PC's serial number, he scanned a database of registered users and responded, "I see you have an Dell All-In-One desktop PC." Before he could say another word, the caller shrieked and said she'd be right back. When the customer returned, the technician asked if she was all right. The caller responded, "Had I realized you could see me, I never would have telephoned in my bathrobe."
A customer who had just received a new Ultrabook asked about the power-saving feature known as "hibernate." "Will this hibernate feature work in the spring and summer?" The caller asked.