Apple iBoob

After introducing the iPhone 13, Apple surprised the audience with 'one more thing.' Apple is introducing a new line of digital implants for adults. Shipping in the spring of 2022, the Apple iBoob is a breast enhancement device that can store and play music. Sold in pairs, the new Apple iBoobs will cost from $999 to $1399 depending on cup and speaker size. This is considered a major social breakthrough because women are always complaining about men staring at their breasts and not listening to them.

USS Enterprise Crewmembers Lightbulb

Q: How many members of the USS Enterprise does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Six.  Scotty to get on the intercom when the light goes out and say, "I canna do it, Cap'n!".  Spock to tell Kirk he is proceeding illogically.  McCoy to say "Dammit, Jim -- I'm a doctor not an electrician!!"  Kirk to screw it in and two red-shirt security officers to die in the process.

News Travels

There was a gorilla sitting in a tree by a river, when a lion came by for a cool drink. The gorilla thought to himself, "How funny would it be to screw the king of the jungle in the ass?" After a moment or two, the gorilla swung into action. He grabbed the lion and started pumping away. The lion freaked of course, and jumped into the river. The lion came out of the water, roaring, he was really upset. The gorilla decided that it was a good time to be somewhere else, and took off running. The gorilla knew he had to think of something quick because he wasn't going to outrun the lion. Just then the gorilla saw a hunter's tent and ducked inside to hide.The hunter, who was surfing the web on his iPad, was startled and ran out of the tent. The gorilla decided to pretend to be the hunter, he put on the hunter's shirt and hat, and started to scroll down the hunter's iPad. A few minutes later, the lion ran in and thinking it was the hunter reading the iPad, said, "Hey Buddy, did you see a gorilla run in here?" From behind the iPad the gorilla answered, "You mean the one that screwed the lion in the ass?" Flabbergasted, the lion said, "Holy Shit! It's posted on the internet already?"