The Twelve Bugs of Christmas

For the first bug of Christmas, my manager said to me, See if they can do it again. For the second bug of Christmas, my manager said to me, Ask them how they did it and See if they can do it again. For the third bug of Christmas, my manager said to me, Try to reproduce it. Ask them how they did it and See if they can do it again. For the fourth bug of Christmas, my manager said to me, Run with the debugger, Try to reproduce it. Ask them how they did it and See if they can do it again. For the fifth bug of Christmas, my manager said to me, Ask for a dump. Run with the debugger, Try to reproduce it. Ask them how they did it and See if they can do it again. For the sixth bug of Christmas, my manager said to me, Reinstall the software, Ask for a dump, Run with the debugger, Try to reproduce it. Ask them how they did it and See if they can do it again. For the seventh bug of Christmas, my manager said to me, Say they need an upgrade, Reinstall the software, Ask for a dump, Run with the debugger, Try to reproduce it, Ask them how they did it and See if they can do it again. For the eighth bug of Christmas, my manager said to me, Find a way around it, Say they need an upgrade, Reinstall the software, Ask for a dump, Run with the debugger, Try to reproduce it, Ask them how they did it and See if they can do it again. For the ninth bug of Christmas, my manager said to me, Blame it on the hardware, Find a way around it, Say they need an upgrade, Reinstall the software, Ask for a dump, Run with the debugger, Try to reproduce it, Ask them how they did it and See if they can do it again. For the tenth bug of Christmas, my manager said to me, Change the documentation, Blame it on the hardware, Find a way around it, Say they need an upgrade, Reinstall the software, Ask for a dump, Run with the debugger, Try to reproduce it, Ask them how they did it and See if they can do it again. For the eleventh bug of Christmas, my manager said to me, Say it's not supported, Change the documentation, Blame it on the hardware, Find a way around it, Say they need an upgrade, Reinstall the software, Ask for a dump, Run with the debugger, Try to reproduce it, Ask them how they did it and See if they can do it again. For the twelfth bug of Christmas, my manager said to me, Tell them it's a feature, Say it's not supported, Change the documentation, Blame it on the hardware, Find a way around it, Say they need an upgrade, Reinstall the software, Ask for a dump, Run with the debugger, Try to reproduce it, Ask them how they did it and See if they can do it again.

Technology Support

After experiencing difficulties with his computer, a poor, incognizant user called the system maker's technical support line for assistance...
Technician: Hello. How can I help you today?
Customer: There's smoke coming from the power supply on my computer.
Technician: Looks like you need a new power supply.
Customer: No, I don't! I just need to change the startup files.
Technician: Sir, what you described is a faulty power supply. You need to replace it.
Customer: No way! Someone told me that I just had to change the system startup files to fix the problem! All I need is for you to tell me the right command.
For the next ten minutes, in spite of the technician's efforts to explain the problem and its solution, the customer adamantly insisted that he was right. So, in frustration, the technician responded.
Technician: I'm sorry. We don't normally tell our customers this, but there's an undocumented DOS command that will fix the problem.
Customer: I knew it!
Technician: Just add the line 'LOAD NOSMOKE.EXE' at the end of the CONFIG.SYS file and everything should work fine. Let me know how it goes.
About ten minutes later, the technician received a call back from the customer.
Customer: It didn't work. The power supply is still smoking.
Technician: Well, what version of DOS are you using?
Customer: MS-DOS 6.22.
Technician: Well, that's your problem. That version of DOS doesn't include NOSMOKE. You'll need to contact Microsoft and ask them for a patch. Let me know how it all works out.
When nearly an hour had passed, the phone rang again.
Customer: I need a new power supply.
Technician: How did you come to that conclusion?
Customer: Well, I called Microsoft and told the technician what you said, and he started asking me questions about the make of the power supply.
Technician: What did he tell you?
Customer: He said my power supply isn't compatible with NOSMOKE.

Mirror Image

Q: If a camera on a shelf takes a picture of itself what do you call it?
A: A shelfie