If Apple ran Christmas

If Apple ran Christmas, It would do everything the Microsoft ornaments do, but years earlier, and with a smaller mouse (not stirring of course).

Viola Recording

Q: Why can't you hear a viola on a digital recording?
A: Recording technology has reached such an advanced level of development that all extraneous noise is eliminated.

Light Bulb - Rec.Humor.Funny

Q: How many rec.humor.funny readers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: 50. They all stand out in the hall while Maddi comes out every once in a while and looks at all the light bulbs people have brought. Finally she selects a few. They're all quite feeble and burn out after a few minutes, so she comes out for more. But she selects more dim bulbs, which causes great discontent among the people who have brought really bright, long-lasting bulbs.