Televsion 800 Number

We were watching this commercial on television. Commercial said, 'If you're having problems with your mama whipping you, call this 800 number.' I called that number. My mama answered the phone.

Space Stick

Q: Did you hear about the astronaut that stepped on the chewing gum?
A: He got stuck in orbit !

USS Enterprise Crewmembers Lightbulb

Q: How many members of the USS Enterprise does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Six.  Scotty to get on the intercom when the light goes out and say, "I canna do it, Cap'n!".  Spock to tell Kirk he is proceeding illogically.  McCoy to say "Dammit, Jim -- I'm a doctor not an electrician!!"  Kirk to screw it in and two red-shirt security officers to die in the process.