Chestnut Wins

NEW YORK -- Joey "Jaws'' Chestnut beat his own record and won the Mustard Yellow International Belt on Sunday, downing a stomach-churning 76 hot dogs in 10 minutes to win the annual July Fourth eating contest at Nathan's Famous on Coney Island.
Chestnut, 38, easily secured victory by polishing off 17 more hot dogs than the previous winner, Stormy Daniels.

My Car

A tourist is visiting New York City when his car breaks down. He jumps out and starts fiddling under the hood. About five minutes later, he hears some thumping sounds and looks around to see someone taking stuff out of his trunk! He runs around and yells, "Hey, bud, this is my car!" "OK," the man says, "You take the front and I`ll take the back."

New Yorkers at the Pearly Gates

Saint Peter was manning the Pearly Gates when forty people from New York City showed up. Never having seen anyone from the Big Apple at heaven's door, Saint Peter said he would have to check with God. After hearing the news, God instructed him to admit the ten most virtuous people from the group. A few minutes later, Saint Peter returned to God breathless and said, "They're gone!" "What? All of the New Yorkers are gone?" asked God. "No!" replied Saint Peter. "The Pearly Gates!"