New Hampshire Crazy Law

• It is illegal to pick seaweed up off of the beach.
• It is considered an offense to check into a hotel under an assumed name.
• Any cattle that crosses state roads must be fitted with a device to gather its feces.
• You cannot sell the clothes you are wearing to pay off a gambling debt.
• You may not run machinery on Sundays.
• You may not tap your feet, nod your head, or in any way keep time to the music in a tavern, restaurant, or cafe.
• On Sundays citizens may not relieve themselves while looking up.
• If a person is caught raking the beaches, picking up litter, hauling away trash, building a bench for the park, or many other kind things without a permit, he/she may be fined $150 for ''maintaining the national forest without a permit''.

Mr. New Jersey

"The government is not doing enough about cleaning up the environment. This is a good planet." -- Mr. New Jersey contestant when asked what he would do with a million dollars

Signs and Notices 17

These are supposedly actual signs that have appeared at various locations.

• An ad on the subway in NYC: "Learn to read and speak English. Call us now."
• An Amelia Island, FL, podiatrist: "Emergency Foot Surgery- Walk-ins Welcomed."
• Sign over a restroom in a restaurant: "Used beer department."
• On a store front in Florida: "Your one stop shop! Beer ammo and liquor. Drive through open 24 hours!"
• A speed limit sign on Long Beach Island, New Jersey: "Smile, You're on Radar!"
• Seen in a State Park in California: "Weather Station (A large sign with a Rock hanging on a rope) Check the Rock. If it's wet, it's raining. If it's moving, it's windy. If you can't see it, it's foggy. If rock is gone, it's a tornado."