New Jersey Crazy Law

• It is against the law for a man to knit during the fishing season.
• You may not slurp your soup.
• If you have been convicted of driving while intoxicated, you may never again apply for personalized license plates.
• It is against the law to "frown" at a police officer. 
• On a highway you can not park under a bridge.
• Car dealerships are forbidden from opening on Sunday.
• You cannot pump your own gas.
• All gas stations are full service and full service only.
• Automobiles are not to pass horse drawn carriages on the street.
• It is illegal to delay or detain a homing pigeon.
• Bernards Township - It is illegal to frown as the town is a "Frown-Free Town Zone".
• Caldwell - You may not dance or wear shorts on the main avenue.
• Cranford - Citizens are not permitted to park their own boat on their lawn.
• Cresskill - All cats must wear three bells to warn birds of their whereabouts.
• Elizabeth - It is forbidden for a woman, on a Sunday, to walk down Broad Street without wearing a petticoat.
• Manville - It is illegal to offer whiskey or cigarettes to animals a the local zoo.
• Newark - It is illegal to sell ice cream after 6pm, unless the customer has a note from his doctor.
• Ocean City - Pinball machines are not to be played on Sunday.
• People may not slurp their soup.
• Raw hamburger may not be sold.
• Raritan - Profanity is prohibited.
• Sea Isle City - There will be no boiling of bones on the property.
• Trenton - Pickles are not to be consumed on Sundays.
• You may not throw a bad pickle in the street. 

New Jersey State Bird

Q: What is New Jersey's state bird?
A: The common House Fly.

Three Little Pigs Remixed

Once upon a time there were three little pigs. The straw pig, the stick pig, and the brick pig. One day this nasty old wolf came up to the straw pigs house and said "I'm gonna huff and puff and blow your house down." And he did!! So the straw pig went running over to the stick pig's house and said, "Please let me in, the wolf just blew down my house." So the stick pig let the straw pig in. Just then the wolf showed up and said, "I'm gonna huff and puff and blow your house down." And he did! So the straw pig and the stick pig went running over to the bricks pigs' house and said, "Let us in, let us in, the big bad wolf just blew our houses down." So the brick pig let them in just as the wolf showed up. The wolf said "I'm gonna huff and puff and blow your house down." The straw pig and the stick pig were so scared! But the brick pig picked up the phone and made a call.
A few minutes passed and a big, black stretch limo pulls up.
Out step three pigs named Louie, Vito, and Dominic. These pigs came over to the wolf, grabbed him by the neck and beat the living heck out of him, then one of them pulled out a gun, stuck it in the wolf's mouth and fired. Then they got back into their limo and drove off. The straw pig and stick pig were amazed! "Who the hell were those guys?" they asked. "Those were my cousins from North Jersey -- the Guinea Pigs."