A New Tearful Bride

A new young blonde bride calls her mother in tears. She sobs, "Robert doesn't appreciate what I do for him." "Now, now," her mother comforted, "I am sure it was all just a misunderstanding." "No, mother, you don't understand. I bought a frozen turkey roll and he yelled and screamed at me about the price!" "Well, the nerve of that lousy cheapskate!" says her mom. "Those turkey rolls are only a few dollars." "No, mother it wasn't the price of the turkey, it was the airplane ticket." "Airplane ticket.... What did you need an airplane ticket for?" "Well mother, when I went to fix it, I looked at the directions on the package and it said - 'Prepare from a frozen state,' so I flew to Alaska!"

Logger to Alaska

Q: Did you hear about the logger that went to Alaska?
A: He came back a husky f**ker.

Full Fledged Alaskan

There's this guy and he lives in the second largest state in America, which is California, and he want's to live in the largest state of America which is Alaska. So he goes there for a few weeks and decides he wants to become a full-fledged Alaskan, so he goes in this pub to ask a bar man what he has to do to become a full fledged Alaskan. The bar man say's "First you drink this liter of whisky, then you've got to kill a bear, and find a woman and rape her." The guy gets confused, so he asked the bar man to repeat it. He comes back a week later beaten to shit. "What happened to you?" said the bar man. "I'm nearly a full fledged alaskan, all I gotta do now is kill a woman"!