Grounds Keeper

I was having coffee at the golf course when I saw a large amount of black sediment in the bottom of the cup. So I called the grounds keeper.

Golfers' Sonnet

I think that I shall never see, a hazard rougher than an tree;
A tree o'er which my ball must fly, if on the green it is to lie;
A tree which stands that green to guard, and makes the shot extremely hard;
A tree whose leafy arms extend, to kill the six iron shot I send;
A tree that stands in silence there, while angry golfers rave and swear.
Irons were made for fools like me, who cannot ever miss a tree.

Guinea Pig

I drove my sister's guinea pig to the vet this morning. My new golf clubs work great!