Obama Golf

During his golfing vacation at Martha's Vineyard, President Obama had been slicing off the tee on every hole. He asked his Scottish caddy if he had noticed any obvious reasons for his poor tee shots, to which the caddy replied: "Aye, there's a piece of shyt on the end of yer driver". The President picked up his driver and cleaned the club face, at which point the caddy said, "No, the other end".

Lining Up the Shot

A guy is standing over his tee shot, looking up, looking down, measuring the distance, figuring the wind direction and speed... His partner says, 'What's taking so long?' The first guy says, 'My wife is on the clubhouse porch, so I want to make a perfect shot. His partner says, "forget it... you'll never hit her from here."

Golf Goal

Golfer: "I'd move heaven & earth to break 100 on this course." Caddy: "Try heaven; you've already moved most of the earth."