Piece of Rope

Q: Why did a footballer take a piece of rope onto the pitch?
A: He was the skipper!

Top 10 - Baseball Is Better Than Sex

Top Ten Reasons Baseball Is Better Than Sex:
10: It is legal to play professionally
9: You can count on it at least 4 times a week
8: You have a coach to tell you when to advance
7:When you are tired, you always get relieved
6: If you strike out once, you still have 2 more tires to get a hit
5: Up to 4 people can score at once
4: Pop ups are frequent
3: 30,000 people cheer when you score
2: After 7 innings, you get to stretch
1: You can get a homerun without any foreplay!

Cubs Soup

Q: Did you hear about the new Cubs soup?
A: Two sips and then you choke.