Golfing with Nuns

This guy unexpectedly got the day off and decided he would spend it on the golf course. After arriving at the club house, he was told that the only way he could play today was if he was willing to play along with three nuns. He agreed and set off with the nuns in tow. At the first hole he said, "After you", and the nuns insisted that he go first. He took a giant swing and sliced it into a nearby bunker. "Goddammit!" he said. "Oh, my, please refrain from using that kind of language around us," said the nun. "I'm so sorry, ma'am, it won't happen again." The nun gets up to the tee and her ball travels about twenty yards, hits a tree, and bounces back behind them. "Well shit, Goddamn, hell, fuck!" exclaims the nun. "Hey, what did you tell me about that?" asks the man. "Yeah, well, you didn't hit a fuckin' tree."

The Golfer vs. The Fisherman

Q: What's the difference between a golfer and a fisherman?
A: When a golfer lies he doesn't have to bring anything home to prove it!

Heaven Playing Sports

St. Peter and Satan were having an argument one day about baseball. Satan proposed a game to be played on neutral grounds between a select team from the heavenly host and his own hand-picked boys. "Very well," said the gatekeeper of Heaven. "But you realize, I hope, that we've got all the good players and the best coaches." "I know, and that's all right," Satan answered unperturbed. "We've got all the umpires."