Dallas Cowboy Put - Downs

Q: What do you call 47 people sitting around a TV watching the Playoffs?
A: The Dallas Cowboys
Q: How many players did the Cowboys dress for their last game?
A: 22. The rest dressed themselves.
Q: What's Jerry Jones' biggest concern?
A: Does bail money count against the salary cap?
Q: Four Dallas Cowboys are in a car. Who's driving?
A: The police.
I understand Chicago is trying to sign Michael Irvin. They got rid of the refrigerator and now they want a coke machine.
The Dallas newspapers reported yesterday that Texas Stadium is going to take out the artificial turf because the Cowboys play better on "grass".
The Dallas Cowboys adopted a new "Honor System". Yes, your Honor, No, your Honor.
The Cowboys had a 8 and 8 season this year. 8 arrests, 8 convictions.
Q: What's the difference between a Cowboys fan and a baby?
A: Eventually the baby stops whining.
A woman in Dallas calls911. When the officer answers the phone the woman is hysterical and tells the cop that a man has just broken into her home and she thinks he intends to rape her. The officer explain that they are just extremely busy at the moment and tells her "Just get the guy's jersey number and we'll get back to you."

Golf Courses in Heaven

A cleric found himself wondering whether there were any golf courses in Heaven. He even began to ask the question in his prayers. One day, in answer to his prayers, he received a direct answer from on high. "Yes," said the Heavenly messenger, "There are many excellent golf courses in Heaven. The greens are always in first class condition, the weather is always perfect and you always get to play with the very nicest people." "Oh, thank you," said the cleric, "That really is marvelous news." "Yes, isn't it?" replied the messenger, "And we've got you down for a foursome next Saturday."

When I Get Out

A person reviewing people in an insane asylum walks around and is pleased with what he sees. He starts to review patients to see what they will do when they get out. He walks up to the first guy and sees him throwing a football around. He automatically knows that he wants to be a football player. He walks up to another guy and sees him throwing a baseball around. He could automatically tell that he wanted to be a baseball player. He walks to the next cell and sees a man with his dick in a bowl of peanuts. He flips out and asks what he is doing. The man replies "I'm fucking nuts, I'm never getting out of here!"