Golf

Bob and his three golf buddies were out playing and were just starting on the back nine when Bob paused, looked down the fairway and began to sob uncontrollably.  The other three gathered around him and asked, "Whats wrong?" Bob looked down at his feet, sniffed and dried his eyes some, then apologized for his emotional outburst. "I'm sorry, I always get emotional at this hole - it holds very difficult memories for me."  One of his buddies asked,  "What happened? What could have gotten you so upset?"  Bob stared silently off in the distance, then said in a low voice, "This is where my wife and I were playing 12 years ago when she suddenly died of a heart attack; right at this very hole!"  "Oh my God", the other golfers said, "That must have been horrible!".  "Horrible? You think it`s horrible?"  Bob cried in disbelief; "It was worse than that!!!!  Every hole for the rest of the day, all the way back to the clubhouse it was hit the ball, drag Alice, hit the ball, drag Alice...

Blonde Ice Hockey Team

Q: What happened to the blonde ice hockey team?
A: They drowned in Spring training.

The Cowboy Excuses

Top Dallas Cowboy Excuses (for losing 1995 NFC Championship)
From David Letterman - Tuesday, January 17, 1995 

1. Afraid to play in Super Bowl against anyone but the Bills.
2. Distracted by delicious smell of barbecue coming from John Madden's announce booth.
3. Trying to make one of Marv Albert's blooper reels.
4. Our friends on New York Jets convinced us: "Winning's no big deal."
5. Worried sick about Letterman botching the Academy Awards.
6. Those big guys on other team kept trying to knock us down.
7. Who needs all the pressure of a Super Bowl? Not us, Lonnie!
8. What a time to notice, them cheerleader outfits is skimpy!
9. Tired of going to Disneyland.