Golf Pro Advice

Three bad golfers were teeing off when they saw a pro walk by. One guy yelled out, "Hey, pro, you want to join us?" The pro figured he didn't have anything else to do, so he got his clubs and joined them. The first guy walked up to the tee box and hit. The ball landed on another fairway. The guy turns around and asks the pro, "What did I do wrong?" The pro looks at him and says "LOFT." The guy pretends to understand this and put his club back in his bag. The next guy walks up to the tee box and hits. The ball slices into the parking lot. The guy asks what he did wrong. The pro again says "LOFT." The last guy walks up and hits. The ball goes five feet off the tee box. The pro says "LOFT." The first guy walks up to the pro and asks, "What does LOFT mean if everybody sucks? The pro says, "You all suffer from Lack Of F**king Talent."

Shingle Material

Q: How many Kentucky basketball fans does it take to roof a house?
A: Three, if you slice them really thin.

Fisherman's Sons

A fisherman and his wife had twin sons named Towards and Away. Once the boys were grown, the fisherman took them out to sea to learn the family fishing trade. A week later, the mother saw her husband dock the boat all alone. "Oh no! What has happened to my darling boys?" she cried. "We were just one day out to sea, when Towards hooked a great fish. He fought long and hard, but he was pulled over the side and swallowed whole by the fish." "Oh dear, what a huge, horrible fish that must of been!" "Yes, it was, but you should have seen the one that got Away."