Cubs Soup

Q: Did you hear about the new Cubs soup?
A: Two sips and then you choke.

Make Out With a Blonde

A man takes a beautiful blonde to his apartment. They're kissing in the elevator when she feels something in his pocket. "What is that?" she asks. "Those are my golf balls." "Is that like tennis elbow?"

Mail Order Fisherman

An elderly fisherman wrote to a mail order company the following:
"Please send me one of those gasoline engines for my boat you show on page 438, and if it's any good, I'll send you a check."

In a short time he received the following reply:
"Please send check. If it's any good, we'll send the engine."