Men Are Like...

• Men are like laxatives. They irritate the shit out of you.
• Men are like bananas. The older they get, the less firm they are.
• Men are like vacations. They never seem long enough.
• Men are like bank machines. Once they withdraw they lose interest.
• Men are like weather. Nothing can be done about either one of them.
• Men are like blenders. You need one but your not quite sure why.
• Men are like cement. After getting laid, they take along time to get hard.
• Men are like chocolate bars. Sweet, smooth, and they usually head right for your hips.
• Men are like coffee. The best ones are rich, warm and can keep you up all night long.
• Men are like commercials. You can't believe a word they say.
• Men are like department stores. Their clothes should always be half off.
• Men are like government bonds. They take so long to mature.
• Men are like horoscopes. They always tell you what to do and are usually wrong.
• Men are like lawn mowers. If your not pushing one around, you're riding it.
• Men are like mascara. They usually run at the first sign of emotion.
• Men are like popcorn. They satisfy you, but only for a little while.
• Men are like snowstorms. You never know when he's coming, how many inches you'll get or how long he will last.

Remembering Anniversary

Q: What's the best way to have your husband remember your anniversary?
A: Get married on his birthday.

Men Like Blenders?

Q: Why are men like blenders?
A: You need one, but you're not quite sure why!