Bonds and Men

Q: What's the difference between government bonds and men?
A: Bonds mature.

New Scientific Element : MAN

• Element Name: MAN
• Symbol: XY
• Atomic Weight: (180 +/- 50)
• Physical properties: Solid at room temperature, but gets bent out of shape easily. Fairly dense and sometimes flaky. Difficult to find a pure sample. Due to rust, aging.
• Samples are unable to conduct electricity as easily as young samples.
• Chemical properties: Attempts to bond with WO any chance it can get. Also tends to form strong bonds with itself. Becomes explosive when mixed with Kd (Element: Child) for prolonged period of time. Neutralized by dousing with alcohol.
• Usage: None known. Possibly good methane source. Good samples are able to produce large quantities on command.
• Caution: In the absence of WO, this element rapidly decomposes and begins to smell.

Mountain Men and Loose Women

Two old friends from the mountains ran into each other at the local bar. One said, "Heard ya went to the big city Jeb." His friend replied, "Yep. Even tried me out one of those 'loose women' ya always hear about." "You don't say."  said the first man. "Bet that was costly." "Nope." Jeb smirked. "Kinfolk."