Sexist Jokes - About Men

Divorced and Board

These two guys had each recently divorced and they swore they would never have anything to do with women again. They were best friends and they decided to move up to Alaska as far north as they could go and never look at a woman again.  As soon as they arrived, they went into a trader's store and told the owner, "Give us enough supplies to last two men for one year." The trader got the gear together and on top of each one's supplies he laid a board with a hole in it with fur around the hole. Curiously, they asked,  "What's that board for?".  The trader said, "Well, where you're going there are no women and you might need this."  They said "No way! We've sworn off women for life!" The trader said, "Well, take the boards with you and if you don't use them I'll refund your money next year".   "Okay", they said and left.
Next year this guy came into the trader's store and said "Give me enough supplies to last one man for one year." The trader said, "Weren't you in here last year with a partner?".  "Yeah", said the guy.  "Where is he?", asked the trader.  "I shot him", said the guy.  "Why?", the owner asked quickly.  "I caught him in bed with my board."

Categories: Sex Jokes (Masturbation Jokes) , Relationship Jokes (Divorce Jokes) , Sexist Jokes (About Men)
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Anonymous

Used Brain

In the hospital the relatives gathered in the waiting room, where their family member lay gravely ill. Finally, the doctor came in looking tired and somber. "I'm afraid I'm the bearer of bad news," he said as he surveyed the worried faces. "The only hope left for your loved one at this time is a brain transplant. It's an experimental procedure, very risky, but it's the only hope. Insurance will cover the procedure, but you will have to pay for the brain yourselves." The family members sat silent as they absorbed the news. After a great length of time, someone asked, "Well, how much does a brain cost?" The doctor quickly responded, "$100,000 for a male brain, and $1000 for a female brain." The moment turned awkward. Men in the room tried not to smile, avoiding eye contact with the women, but some actually smirked. A man, unable to control his curiosity, blurted out the question everyone wanted to ask: "Why is the male brain so much more?" The doctor smiled at the childish innocence and explained to the entire group: "It's just standard pricing procedure. We have to mark down the price of the female brains, because they've actually been used."

Categories: Funny Thoughts , Disease / Afflictions Jokes (Going to Die Jokes) , Sexist Jokes (About Men) , Sexist Jokes (About Women) , Sexist Jokes (Men vs Women Jokes)
Anonymous

One Little Chore

A husband is someone who takes out the trash and gives the impression he just cleaned the whole house.

Categories: Funny Thoughts , Sexist Jokes (About Men)
Anonymous
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