Substituting Alcohol For Women

A guy says, "I remember the first time I used alcohol as a substitute for women." "Yeah what happened?" asked his friend. The first guy replies, "Well, er, I got my penis stuck in the neck of the bottle."

Male Chauvinists Change Light Bulb

Q: How many male chauvinists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: None. Let the bitch cook in the dark!

Feel Like a Woman

As an airplane is about to crash, a female passenger jumps up frantically and announces, "If I'm going to die, I want to die feeling like a woman." She removes all her clothing and asks, "Is there someone on this plane who is man enough to make me feel like a woman?" A man stands up, removes his shirt and says, "Here, iron this!"