Women and Men, Wine and Grapes

Men are like a fine grape:

• They are best kept in the dark.
• They can't handle too much heat.
• They perform best when they are stepped on.

 
Women are like the wine that comes from the grape:

• They are sweet, vigorous, and full-bodied when they are young.
• They don't age well without preservatives.
• They become sour and vinegary if they remain bottled up.

Marv Albert's Firing

Q: What did Marv Albert do after NBC gave him the pink slip?
A: He put it on.

Confucius?

Old maids count on fingers, but young girls count on legs.