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Buzz Buzz Buzz
A man and a woman have just finished having sex when suddenly a bee flies in the bedroom window and zooms straight up the woman's love tunnel. "Oh God!" she screams. "Help me! There's a bee up my vagina and it's buzzing around in there (albeit rather pleasurably)!"
"Let's go says her boyfriend. I'll rush you straight to hospital."
On arrival at the emergency room, the agitated couple are ushered into a curtained-off area by a male doctor. "What seems to be the problem?" he asks.
"I've got a freaking bee up my vagina," screams the woman. "Get it out!"
"I see," says the doctor. "Well, there's only one way to extract this bee. I'm going to have to spread honey on my penis and entice it out."
The doctor gets out his old fella and dunks it in a jar of honey he just happens to have with him. He then mounts the woman and penetrates her with his sticky sweet love stick. "Just an inch or two should do it," he says.
After a few seconds he slides it in a bit further. After another few seconds he says, "Hmmm, it doesn't seem to be biting. I'll have to go deeper," and slides it in all the way.
Suddenly he starts fondling her boobs with his hands, thrusting violently with his hips and moaning with what sounds like pleasure.
"HOLD IT!" says the boyfriend. "What are you doing?"
"Change of plans!" shouts the doctor. "I've decided to drown the little bastard!"
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Stranded Lawyers
Two lawyers had been stranded on a deserted island for several months. The only other thing on the island was the tall coconut tree, that provided them their food. Each day, one of the lawyers climbed to the top of the tree, to see if he could see a rescue boat coming.
One day, the lawyer yelled down from the tree, "Wow! I can't believe my eyes! I don't believe this is true!" The lawyer on the ground was skeptical and said, "I think you're hallucinating and you should come down right now."
So, the lawyer reluctantly climbed down the tree and told his friend that he had just seen a naked blonde woman floating face up headed toward their island.
The other lawyer started to laugh, thinking his friend had surely lost his mind. But, within a few minutes, up to the beach floated a naked blonde woman, face up, totally unconscious.
The two lawyers went over to her and one said to the other, "You know, we've been on this island for months now without a woman. It's been a long time...do you think we should....you know..... screw her?"
The other lawyer glanced down at the totally naked woman and asked..."Out of what?"
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Date Creep
Man: To make a woman laugh is the second best method to get her to sleep with you.
Woman: And what is the best method?
Man: Chloroform.
Woman: You are funny!
Man: Good choice.
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