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Sex Jokes - Rape Jokes
Date Creep
Man: To make a woman laugh is the second best method to get her to sleep with you.
Woman: And what is the best method?
Man: Chloroform.
Woman: You are funny!
Man: Good choice.
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Captured
Three explores in Africa are captured by a local tribe. They're taken to the tribal chief, who tells them that they have trespassed on sacred tribal lands and says, "For your punishment, you must choose death or bongo!"
Well, the first explorer thinks to himself "I don't know what bongo is, but it can't be worse than death". So he says "I choose bongo".
So, all the tribesmen take turns raping him. Seriously, they pass him around like a crack whore. They truly bugger him senseless.
The second explorer watches this horrific gang rape but thinks, "At least it's not death." So, the tribesmen take their turns on him too. It makes prison rape look like a casual flirtation.
The third explorer thinks, "My honor as a man must remain intact" and says "I choose death!"
The chief says "Okay, then, DEATH BY BONGO!"
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Waylaid
One day a man was hiking down an old dirt road when he noticed, down an embankment, a man tied naked, face down to a large fallen tree. The hiker ran down to the man, and while removing his backpack asked, ''What happened to you?''
The tied up man began to tell him, ''I picked up a hitchhiker and a few miles down the road he held me up. He told me to pull over and took my car, my money, and all of my clothes. Then he tied me up to this tree.'' The hiker unzipped his fly and said, ''Boy, this just isn't your day, is it?''
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