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Sex Jokes - Prostitute Jokes
New Glasses
Yesterday my daughter nagged me again about how I spend my time - she wants me to do something useful. “So, sitting around the pool and drinking wine isn't a good thing?” I asked. My "doing-something-useful" seems to be her favorite topic of conversation. She was 'only thinking of me' and suggested that I go down to the Senior Center and join something. I did this and when I got home last night, I decided to play a prank on her.
I sent an email telling her that I had joined a Parachute Club. She replied, "Mother, are you nuts? You're 78 years old and now you're going to start jumping out of airplanes?” I told her that I even got a Membership Card and e-mailed a copy to her. She immediately telephoned me and yelled, "Good grief, Mom, where are your glasses?! This is a Membership to a _PROSTITUTE_ CLUB, NOT A PARACHUTE CLUB.” I calmly replied, "Oh my, I think I'm in real trouble then, because I signed up for FIVE JUMPS A WEEK!!” The line went quiet and her friend picked up the phone and said that my daughter had fainted. Life as a Senior Citizen is not getting any easier, but sometimes it can be real fun.
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The Agent
The agent of a beautiful actress discovered that the actress had been selling her body for $100 a night. The agent, who had long fantasized about her, had never dreamed that she was so easily obtainable. He approached her and told her how much she turned him on and how he wanted to do her.
She agreed to spend the night with him but said that he would have to pay the same $100 other customers paid. He thought for a while, then said, "Don't I at least a discount?"
"Nope," she said. "If you want me, you have to pay full price like the others." The agent, although unhappy, still agreed.
That night, she came to his apartment after she was done for the day. The agent did her after turning off all the lights. An hour later, she was awakened and vigorously done again. In a while again, she was yet again awakened and made love to. She was impressed with her agent's vitality.
"My goodness," she whispered in the dark, "you are so potent. I never realized how lucky i was to have you for my agent."
"I'm not your agent, lady," a strange voice said. "He's at the door selling tickets."
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Elderly Man at the Brothel
An elderly man goes into a brothel and tells the madam he would like a young girl for the night. Surprised, she looks at the ancient man and asks how old he is. "I'm 90 years old," he says.
"90!" replies the woman. "Don't you realize you've had it?"
"Oh, sorry," says the old man, "how much do I owe you?"
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