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The best jokes and joke writers!

Dave's Adventure

There once was a man named Dave, who found a dead whore in a cave. She was ugly as shit and missing one tit, but think of the money he saved!

Off to Vegas

A man came home from work one day to find his wife on the front porch with her bags packed. "Just where the heck do you think you're going!", said the man. "I'm going to Las Vegas", said the wife, "I just found out I can get $400 a night for what I give you for free! The man said, "Wait a minute!", and then ran inside the house only to come back a few minutes later with his suitcases in hand. "Where the heck are you going?", said the wife. The man said, "I want to see how you're gonna live on $800 a year!"

The Show

A man walks into a brothel. He walks up to the proprietor and says: "What can I get for ten dollars?" The proprietor says: "Go up the stairs, first room on the right."

The man walks into the room and sits on the bed, he notices a small door at the bottom of one of the walls. The door opens up, and a chicken comes walking out. The man has his way with the chicken. The man comes back the next day and says to the proprietor: "I didn't really like that, and I'd like a refund."

The proprietor says: "Oh, good sir, trust me. Go up the stairs, but this time go into the first room on the left, and you won't want your ten dollars back."

So the man goes into the room, and this room is much larger than the other, with theatre-type seating, and a big curtain on one side. A few people are scattered throughout the seats, and the man sits down. The curtain opens up, and it's actually large flat screen TV and what appears to be a live camera feed of an orgy. The man leans over to a guy sitting next to him and says: "Man, this is something, huh?" The other guy says: "You should have been here yesterday. Some guy was fucking a chicken."

Bill Clinton Jogging

Bill Clinton started jogging near his home in Chappaqua, New York.  But on each run he happened to jog past a hooker standing on the same street corner, day after day. With some apprehension he would brace himself as he approached her for what was most certainly to follow.

"Fifty dollars!" she would cry out from the curb.

"No, Five dollars!" fired back Clinton.

This ritual between Bill and the hooker continued for days.  He'd run by and she'd yell, "Fifty dollars!"  And he'd yell back, "Five dollars!"

One day however, Hillary decided that she wanted to accompany her husband on his jog!  As the jogging couple neared the problematic street corner, Bill realized the "pro" would bark her $50 offer and Hillary would wonder what he'd really been doing on all his past outings. He realized he should have a darn good explanation for the former Secretary of State.  As they jogged into the turn that would take them past the corner, Bill became even more apprehensive than usual.  

Sure enough, there was the hooker!  Bill tried to avoid the prostitute's eyes as she watched the pair jog past.  

Then, from the sidewalk, the hooker yelled...“See what you get for five bucks!?"

Two Guys And A Whorehouse

These two guys go to a whorehouse. The first guy goes in then comes out and says, "My wife is better." The second guy goes in then comes out and says, "You know what? Your wife IS better."