Condom Sponsors!

Imagine if major companies from all around the world started producing or sponsoring condoms. They would become fashionable and companies would probably advertise more openly.  Imagine the trademarks:

• Nike Condoms - Just do It! 
• Toyota Condoms - Oh what a feeling
• Ford Condoms - The ride of your life
• Sony Condoms - Do not underestimate the power of Sony
• Microsoft Condoms - Where do you want to go today?
• KFC Condoms - Finger Licking Good
• M&Ms Condoms - Melt in your mouth, not in your hands
• Coca-Cola Condom - The Real Thing
• Ever-Ready Condoms - Keep going and going
• Macintosh Condoms - It does more, it costs less, it's that simple
• Pringles Condoms - Once you pop, you can't stop

Big Family

A women married and had 13 children. Her husband died. She married again and had 7 more children. Again, Her husband died. But, she remarried and this time had 5 more children. Alas, she finally died. Standing before her coffin, the preacher prayed for her. He thanked the Lord for this very loving woman and said, "Lord, they're finally together."
One mourner leaned over and quietly asked her friend, "What do you think he means her first, second or third husband?" The friend replied, "I think he means her legs."

That Long Thing on the Elephant

A couple took their young son to the circus and when the elephants appeared, the boy seemed very intrigued by them. "Mommy, what's that long thing on the elephant?" he asked. "That's the elephant's trunk, dear," she replied. "No, not that. What's that long thing that's hanging between the elephant's legs?" asked the boy. Embarrassed, the mother replied, "Oh, it's nothing, son." She then left to get some hot dogs and sodas. While she was gone, the young boy turned to his father and asked, "Daddy, what's that long thing hanging between the elephant's legs?" "That's the elephant's penis, son," explained the father. "Well, why did mommy say it was nothing when I asked her?" the boy asked. Taking a deep breath, the father proudly replied, "I've spoiled that woman, son!"