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Sex Jokes - Oral Sex Jokes
Tampon for Lesbian
Q: What does a lesbian think the string on the end of a tampon is for?
A: For flossing after eating.
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That Time Again
A highway patrolman wanted to set up a speed trap one day. He got up on a hill behind a big billboard and sat. He was there for about ten minutes with no radar action. Finally a car came by doing 85 M.P.H. He put on the blue light and pulled the car over. He said, "Sir, do realize you were doing 85 MPH?" The driver said "Yeah, but ya' see, it's that time of the month for the Mrs. and I gotta get her some tampons." The officer was sympathetic. He just said, "How about slowing it down." So the guy sped off. A few minutes later, another car came by running 85 MPH The officer gave him the blue light to. Again, the same scenario. The officer said "Sir, do you realize you were doing 85 MPH?" The guy had the same story. "Yes sir, but you see, it's that time of the month for the wife and I gotta get her some tampons." This pissed the officer off but he couldn't give this guy a ticket and not the last one. He said, "Just slow it down." No sooner than he got back up in his speed trap, here comes another guy doing 95 mph. The officer put the blue light on, pulled him over and walked up to the window. He looked at the guy and said, "Dammit, don't tell me it's that time of the month for your wife too!" The guy responded, "No sir, that's just barbecue sauce."
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Clinton's Clock
Bill Clinton made up a list of things he can say to his secretaries so they will know what he really wants, but everyone else will ignore. So one day, he hires a new secretary, and then calls her over the intercom. "Hello Ms., could you please come in here and fix my clock". Of course, she innocently agreed. She walked into the office, and looked around. "Where's the clock sir?", she asked. Suddenly, the president stood up and dropped his pants. "That's not a clock Mr. Clinton!", she exclaimed. "It will be", he replied, "Once you put two hands and a face on it !".
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