Sex Jokes - Denied Sex Jokes

Q: How do you know you're leading a sad life?

A: When a nymphomaniac tells you, "Let's just be friends."

A man who worked for a fire company came home from work one day and told his wife, "You know, we have a wonderful system at the fire station. Bell 1 rings and we put on our jackets. Bell 2 rings and we slide down the pole. Bell 3 rings and we're on the trucks ready to go. From now on we're going to run this house the same way. When I say bell 1, I want you to strip naked. When I say bell 2, I want you to jump into bed. When I say bell 3, we're going to screw all night.

The next night he came home from work and yelled, "Bell 1," and his wife took off all here clothes. "Bell 2," and his wife jumped into bed. "Bell 3," and they began to screw.

After 2 minutes his wife yelled, "Bell 4."

"What's this Bell 4?" asked her husband.

"More hose," she replied, "You're nowhere near the fire!"

Life sucks...and then you marry someone who doesn't!

A therapist told a woman to use some imagination while making love with her husband to spice things up. She replied, "You mean imagine that it's good?!"

The Harvard School of Medicine did a study of why Jewish women like Chinese food so much. The study revealed that this is due to the fact that WonTon spelled backwards is Not Now.