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Sex Jokes
New Bike
A man came back from a long business trip to find that his son had a new $300 mountain bike. "How'd you get that, son?" "By hiking." "Hiking?" "Yeah, every night, Mom's boss came over and gave me $20 to take a hike."
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There Were Two People In A Car
There were two people having sex in a car. They finished up and the guy threw the condom out the window. His girlfriend got mad at him she wanted to go again. So he got out of the car and went to find the condom. He found that a little boy had found it and when he asked for it back the boy refused. "C'mon" he begged, "I'll give u a dollar."
"Well," little boy thought, "Okay." So the little boy ran home.
"Mom, you'll never guess what just what just happened! I sold this guy a twinkie for a dollar, but I tricked him. I sucked the cream out of it first!"
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Voodoo Dick
A businessman was about to go on a long business trip, and was worried that his wife would cheat on him while he was gone. So to prevent this, he visited the local sex shop in order to buy his wife a vibrator to keep her occupied in his absence.
After examining the products, he hadn't found an appropriately amazing vibrator and asked the store clerk for help. The store clerk recommended the "Voodoo Dick." "How does it work?" asked the businessman. The clerk unwrapped the Voodoo Dick from its ceremonial tiki box and said to it, "Voodoo Dick that door." The vibrator flew out of the box and attacked the door with such vigor that the door split in half. "Fantastic," said the man. "I'll take it!" He instructed his wife on how to use the Voodoo Dick and left on his business trip. Soon, his wife decided to try it out and said the magic words: "Voodoo Dick my pussy." The Voodoo Dick flew out of the box and gave her orgasm after orgasm. But soon it became too much, and she couldn't figure out how to make it stop. So she got into her car and began driving to the hospital, swerving so much that she got pulled over by the police. The policeman asked her why she was driving so recklessly and she explained to him that she had a Voodoo Dick inside her that wouldn't leave her alone. The policeman looked at her skeptically and said, "Voodoo Dick, my ass."
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