Share this joke via Email (Step 2)
Share this Joke on Twitter
Registered Users Only
Registered Users Only
Get link for other Social Networks
- Home
- Popular Jokes
- New Releases
- Joke of the Day
- Browse By Category
- Browse Writers
- Contests
- Submit Joke
- Contact Us
- Info
All rights reserved.
- Home
- >
- Categories
- >
- Sex Jokes
- >
- All
Sex Jokes
Penguin Car Trouble
Once there was a penguin whose car broke down. He took it in to get it serviced, and while it was being worked on, he went shopping. He returned later that day to see what had happened to his car, and the mechanic told him, "It looks like you've blown a seal." The penguin, chuckling, and wiping his beak replied, "No, I've just eaten some ice-cream."
- 2
- 3
- 1
Brothel Trouble
An old sailor goes to a brothel, where he chooses his girl and begins. "How am I doing?" He asks. "Three knots," she replies. "Three knots? What's that mean?" "You're not hard, you're not in, and you're not getting your money back."
- 0
- 2
- 0
Big Smile
Mike walks into a bar and sees Pat sitting at the end of the bar with a great big smile on his face. Mike says, "Pat, what are you so happy about?"
"Well Mike, I gotta tell ya... Yesterday I was out waxin' my boat, just waxin' my boat, and a redhead came up to me.. tits out to here, Mike. Tits out to here! She says, "Can I have a ride in your boat?" I said, "Sure you can have a ride in my boat." So I took her way out, Mike. I turned off the key and I said, "It's either screw or swim! She couldn't swim, Mike. She couldn't swim!"
The next day Mike walks into a bar and sees Pat sitting at the end of the bar with a even bigger smile on his face. Mike says, "What are you happy about today Pat?" "Well Mike.... I gotta tell ya... Yesterday I was out waxin' my boat, just waxin' my boat and a BEAUTIFUL blond came up to me...tits out to here, Mike. Tits out to here! She said, "Can I have a ride in your boat?" I told her, "Sure you can have a ride in my boat." So I took her way out, Mike. Much further than the last one. I turned off the key and I said, "It's either screw or swim!" She couldn't swim, Mike! She couldn't swim!"
A couple days pass and Mike walks into a bar and sees Pat down there cryin' over a beer. Mike says, "Pat, what are you so sad about?" "Well Mike, I gotta tell ya.... Yesterday I was out waxin' my boat, just waxin' my boat, and the most desirable brunette came up to me... tits WAY out to here, Mike. Tits WAY out to here. She says, "Can I have a ride in your boat?" So I said, "Sure you can have a ride in my boat." So I took her way out, Mike, way WAY out... much further than the last two.
I turned off the key, and looked at her tits and said, "It's either screw or swim!" She pulled down her pants and.....She had a pecker, Mike! She had this great BIG pecker! ... and I can't swim Mike! I can't swim!
- 1
- 2
- 0
