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ZipperGate Update
In a deal engineered by veteran mouthpieces Stein and Cacheris, Ms. Lewinsky has apparently headed off possible perjury charges by offering a full throated confession to Kenneth Starr. Sources, close to the investigation, report Starr is pumping Ms. Lewinsky for details concerning an oral pact with Mr. Clinton to withhold evidence. Although the independent prosecutor's team will drill Monica prior to her testimony, beltway observers do not anticipate a full dress rehearsal.
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Happy Baby
Two gay men decide to have a baby. They mix their sperm and have a surrogate mother artificially inseminated. When the baby is born, they rush to the hospital. Two dozen babies are in the ward, 23 of which are crying and screaming. One, over in the corner, is smiling serenely. A nurse comes by, and to the men's delight, she points out the happy child as theirs.
"Isn't it wonderful?" Brad exclaims. "All these unhappy children, and ours is so happy." "He's happy now," says the nurse. "But just wait until we take the pacifier out of his ass.''
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Taking Measures
"Mom, I'm pregnant." "How can that be? What did I tell you about sex?" "That I should take measures. That's what I did! I took measures and then went with the biggest."
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