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Sex Jokes
Three Tasks for the King's Daughter
Three men want to marry the king's most beautiful daughter. The king agrees to give them a chance, but they must perform three difficult tasks: defeat an ogre, turn lead to gold, and screw a cow. The first man dies fighting the ogre, the second fails at turning lead to gold, but the third man successfully completes all three tasks. "Congratulations!" says the king. "You may now have my daughter's hand in marriage." "Screw that," says the man. "I want the cow."
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Disgruntled Genie
A man walking down the beach, sees a old bottle in the sand and begins to play kick-the-bottle to amuse himself. After a while he picks it up, and a pissed off genie emerges. She says "normally I grant 3 wishes, but in your case, you son of a bitch, I am going to grant only 1." He thinks a minute and says - "OK, I want to wake up with 3 women in my bed." She says "So be it!" and disappears back into the bottle. Next morning, he wakes up with Lorena Bobbitt, Tonya Harding and Hilary Clinton. He has no penis, a broken leg, and no health insurance!
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Breeding Problem
A Soviet woman comes to a gynecologist and complains: "Doctor, when I wasn't married, I had six abortions, and now that I'm married I can't get pregnant." "Well" said the doctor, "It's possible you don't breed in captivity!"
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