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Sex Jokes
Fuck For A Duck
A farmer sent his 15 year old son to town and, as a birthday present, handed him a duck., "See if you can get a girl in exchange for this," he said. In town, the lad met a prostitute and said, "It's my birthday and all I've got is this duck. Would you be willing to..." "Sure," she said., "I'm sentimental about birthdays. And besides, I've never owned a duck." Afterwards, she said, "Do you know, for a 15 year old, you're quite a lay. If you do it again, I'll give you back your duck." "Sure," said the boy. When his pleasurable work was through, the lad started on his way home. While he was crossing the main street in the village, the duck suddenly flew out of his hands and was hit by a passing beer truck. The driver of the truck felt sorry for the boy and gave him $2. When the lad returned home, his father asked, "Well, how did you make out?" His son replied, "Heck, I got a fuck for a duck, a duck for a fuck, and two bucks for a fucked-up duck!" As you want, no strings attached.
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Bus Driver's Parents
A little kid walks into a city bus and sits right behind the driver and starts yelling, "If my dad was a bull and my mom a cow I'd be a little bull." The driver starts getting mad at the noisy kid, who continues with, "If my dad was an elephant and my mom a girl elephant I would be a little elephant." The kid goes on with several animals until the bus driver gets angry and yells at the kid, "What if your dad was gay and your mom was a prostitute?!" The kid smiles and says, "I would be a bus driver!"
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Blowing Chunks
Three guys were talking one morning about how drunk they were at this party they were at the night before. 1st guy: "Man, I was so drunk that last night I got home and blew chunks." 2nd guy: "Oh yeah? Well, I was so drunk that on the way home I was pulled over and given a DUI!" 3rd guy: "That's nothing. I was so drunk that on the way home I picked up a prostitute and my wife caught us in bed!" 1st guy: "No, no.. you guys don't understand! Chunks is my dog."
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