Arab in Ireland

An Arab boy moves to Ireland. On his first day of school his teacher asks, "What is your name?" "My name is Mohammed," the boy replies. "You live in Ireland now, your new name is Mike," says the teacher. The boy smiles and has a good time in his classes. After school the boy returns home and is greeted by his mother. "How was your first day at school, Mohammed?" his mother asks. "I live in Ireland now, my new name is Mike!" The boy replies. His mother becomes infuriated, "Have you forgotten where you came from? Your heritage? You have disgraced your ancestors!"
His mother beat him and when his father comes home from work he does the same.
The next day the boy returns to school and his teacher sees his fresh bruises. "Mike! What happened?" asked the teacher. The boy replies with a grimace "Well, shortly after becoming an Irishman I was jumped by two fucking Arabs!"

Grown Up Words

A teacher was teaching a class of five year olds and asked what they all did in the summer holidays. One boy said he got a ''choo-choo.'' The teacher said, "Please use the proper grown-up word for what you have done. The word is train." Another boy said he got a ''bow-wow.'' The teacher said please use the proper grown-up word for what you have done. The word is dog." Another boy said I got a ''Winnie the Shit.''

Long and Hard

Q: To a blonde, what is long and hard?
A: Grade 4.