Pizza Boy Delivery Tip

A college pizza delivery boy arrived at the house of Larry Johnson. He delivered the pizza to his trailer. After giving it to him, Larry asked: "What is the usual tip?" "Well," replied the youth, "this is my first trip here, but the other guys say if I get a quarter out of you, I'll be doing great." "Is that so?" snorted Larry. "Well, just to show them how wrong they are, here's five dollars." "Thanks," replied the youth, "I'll put this in my school fund." "What are you studying in school?" asked Larry. The lad smiled and said: "Applied psychology." 

Light Bulb - Academics

Q: How many academics does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: None. That's what research students are for.

Harry Potter Do-Over

Q: Why did Harry Potter have to repeat his first year at Hogwarts School of Wizardry and Witchcraft?
A: Because he couldn't spell.